i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
