I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
