i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
