Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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