loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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