i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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