Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
