i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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