I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
