Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
