i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
