we have pet lesbian snakes
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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