The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
