i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
