are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My cat gives me a boner
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
