So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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