Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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