I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
