I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
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He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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