I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
