Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
