At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
