I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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