Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
