Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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