Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
