I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
