you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
