Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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