I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
