The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
