So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
