I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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