Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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