He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
