yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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