So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
