I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
