i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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