Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
