I faked an abortion last night.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
