My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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