so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
