she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
