After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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