My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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