check it out our google latitudes are spooning
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
