you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
