so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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