i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
